EN • “Comparison is the thief of joy” a friend told me yesterday on the phone. We talked about applying and jobs and life opportunities. We found that we tend to compare ourselves to others who are the same age. But we are no longer in college, everyone is going their own way. Now you can no longer compare yourself to others on the basis of grades – and maybe you never could.
DE • “Sich mit anderen zu vergleichen, stiehlt dir jegliche Freude” hat mir gestern eine Freundin amTelefon gesagt. Wir haben über Bewerbungen und Jobs geredet und dass man dazu neigt, sich mit anderen, die im selben Jahrgang waren, zu vergleichen. Wir sind nicht mehr länger in der Uni, jeder geht nun seinen eigenen Weg. Man kann sich nicht mehr und konnte sich vielleicht noch nie, anhand von Noten mit anderen vergleichen.
EN • I think there are many situations in life where we compare ourselves to others and have these jealous thoughts. We think that others are prettier, more successful, more sporty or better off. Here are three reasons why you should stop this thinking pattern.
DE • Ich denke, dass es viele Situationen in unserem Leben gibt, in denen wir uns gerne mit anderen vergleichen oder das Leben der anderen sogar beneiden. Wir denken, dass andere hübscher, erfolgreicher, sportlicher oder reicher sind. In diesem Post verrate ich euch, warum diese Denkweise absolut sinnlos ist. Außerdem gebe ich ein paar Tipps, wie man dieses Verhalten los wird.
3 Reasons why you should not compare yourself to others
YOU are you and
not the other person
EN • You are unique! All the others have different experiences and background, and most likely different understanding of happiness. To find real happiness, you have to ask yourself: What is it that is most important to me? If you seek, you’ll find the answer within you. So you will know what YOU should strive for.
DE • Du bist DU und keine andere Person. Du bist einzigartig! Andere haben ganz andere Erfahrungen und Erlebnisse und wahrscheinlich auch ein anderes Verständnis von Glück. Um das wirkliche Glück zu finden, musst du in dich gehen und dich ganz ehrlich fragen: was ist es, das mir am Wichtigsten ist? Wenn du die Antwort in dir suchst und findest, weißt du auch wonach DU streben solltest.
A matter of perception:What tells you that the other person is in a better spot
EN • Not everything that glitters is gold. Many things look better from the outside than they really are. We often see only the obvious things. What happens under the surface remains hidden to us. It’s not a good idea to take non-existent things as a guideline.
DE • Nicht alles, was glänzt ist Gold. Vieles sieht von Außen besser aus, als es in Wirklichkeit ist. Wir bekommen oft nur die augenscheinlichen Dinge mit. Was sich unter der Oberfläche abspielt bleibt uns verborgen. Sich von Dingen, die vielleicht nicht einmal so sind wie sie scheinen, runter ziehen zu lassen ist keine gute Idee.
Honestly: It leads to nothing ..besides a bad feeling
EN • To envy others or to compare yourself with others does not change your situation at all. Except maybe that you feel a little more dissatisfied than before. You decide how you see yourself and how important you are to yourself.
DE • Andere zu beneiden oder sich mit anderen zu vergleichen ändert absolut nichts an deiner Situation. Außer vielleicht, dass du dich ein bisschen unzufriedener fühlst als vorher. Du entscheidest, wie du dich selbst siehst und welchen Stellenwert du dir selbst einräumst.
How to stop comparing yourself to others
Awareness EN • Every time you start comparing yourself to someone else become aware of this fact and tell yourself to stop. DE • Jedes Mal, wenn du dich mit anderen vergleichst, werde dir dessen einfach mal bewusst und stoppe diese Denkweise.
Appreciation EN • Instead of thinking about all the things you don’t have, think about all the things you have already achieved. You can be proud of yourself. Just take a moment and appreciate them. Be thankful! DE • Anstatt an all die Dinge zu denken, die du vielleicht noch nicht erreicht hast, denk doch mal an all die Dinge, die du schon hast. Darauf kannst du wirklich stolz sein. Ich finde es immer wichtig, einzelne Details des Lebens wertzuschätzen und dankbar zu sein.
compare yourself to others: The silver lining
EN • From my point of view there are actually some situations in which it can be good to compare yourself to others: If it motivates you and gives you a “can do” attitude. Sometimes knowing what others have already achieved, gives you a motivation boost and lets you work even harder to fulfil your goals.
DE • Aus meiner Sicht gibt es tatsächlich einige Situationen, in denen es gut sein kann, sich mit anderen zu vergleichen: Wenn es motiviert. Manchmal kann das Wissen darüber, was andere bereits erreicht haben, einen Motivationsschub geben. Dann arbeitet man noch härter daran, die eigenen Ziele zu erreichen.
This is a great topic, I’d love to talk about it at a dinner party for example, to hear everyone’s opinion.
I agree with you- in some circumstances, being aware of your peer’s successes can be a motivator or the catalyst you need to achieve your personal goals.
It depends on what you are comparing, how it’s affecting you etc.
I was watching a couple of Hollywood actresses do an interview and when they were asked for the best piece of advice they were given one said her teacher’s words – Keep your eyes on your own paper- have helped her in life!
PS thanks for the comment you left on my blog!
Xo
Author
SO happy you liked that post! How comparisons affect us and make us feel is always a matter of perspective. I really like what that Hollywood actress said! Tho we have to acknowledge that sometimes it’s giving us a hard time to “keep the eyes on one’s own paper”
Love this!! I have a hard time not comparing myself to others.
Jennifer
Effortlessly Sophisticated
Author
I can feel you there! I hoped that post has helped you find reasons why it’s not logic to compare.
Was für ein schönes, sommerliches Kleid! Tolle Fotos!
Und das mit dem Vergleichen kennt wohl jeder… man sollte es nicht damit und den Selbstzweifeln übertreiben, aber ich schätze jeder erwischt sich mal dabei. 😉
Author
Da hast du absolut recht! Schön, dass dir mein Outfit gefällt.
Yes, this is always a topic and discussion. I think generally speaking it is the thief of joy but it can be circumstantial as you mentioned.
Schoner Look. Das Gras ist nicht immer grüner, wie das Zitat sagt! 🙂 Alles Liebe von Madison
FASHION TALES
Author
Aww Madison! so happy that you replied in two languages 🙂 Toll, dass dir mein Outfit gefällt! It’s true in most cases its more the thief of joy than the motivator.
Du siehst wunderschön aus, Liebes!
Und deine Worte sind so wahr – vielen Dank für diesen tollen Post. 🙂
Liebste Grüße
Juli
https://julispiration.com
Author
Vielen Dank meine Liebe 🙂 Ich freue mich immer wenn du vorbei schaust.
So true and well said. People have always done and especially in the first world. But now it is at it’s worst because of social media. But yes nothing good comes from comparing yourself to others. Just keep working hard and appreciate what you have.
Allie of
http://www.allienyc.com
Author
I’m with you on this. So true that social media made it all worse and especially in the first world we have the feeling that we never have enough. But I figured it’s all in our minds and in the end we have to decide how we deal with comparison.
Agreed! Especially with social media these days, we always tend to compare ourselves with other people and believe me, I am guilty of that. It turned social media into a bit of a toxic environment lately and I took some days off to refocus on myself and to learn joy once again.
-Didier
http://www.didieryhc.com
Author
Thank you so much for your honesty here! I can feel you on this. I think taking some time off social media from time to time helps to set things straight and puts them in another light. On a note: let me tell you that I really love your website and everything you do there 🙂 It’s a unique page in so many ways.
What a beautiful post! It’s definitely so easy to compare, especially in the world of blogging. Also loving that dress!
The Quirky Queer
Author
Yes that is so true. However when it comes to the world of blogging I always have the feeling that a “together” instead of an “against” would be most beneficial to everyone.
So pretty !
I love your dress and this necklace.
And you’re right compare yourself to others never do good even if it’s not always easy to feel peace with yourself.
xx
Margot
https://troughthepasturesofthesky.com
Author
SO happy you like the styling dear! I am completely with you on that!
Great post and couldn’t agree more with your pointers. Nothing wrong with comparison, but I always say, “compare to motivation not depression.”
https://www.missymayification.co.uk
Author
I love that saying! That truly is the core of what I was trying to point out.
So beautifully written, and I couldn’t agree more. You’re doing yourself a disservice when you compare yourself to others.
Jessica | notjessfashion.com
Author
So happy you see it that way – we are all unique personalities.
We are unique in our own way, and we must acknowledge that our path will always be different from anyone else. Our advise is to always follow your intuition and be who you want to be, no matter what society expects from you 🙂
Such a well written post, thank you for that!
xx
Patricia & Miguel
http://www.freeoversea.com
Author
that is so so true! I wrote this post cause I hear it very often that people start to compare and do not even notice that the preconditions aren’t the same at all. I hoped I can clear things up 🙂
Very important topic! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this